When I first looked into the pagan paths back in the early 1980s, I was sharply pointed toward the Wiccan paths. This was primarily because, at the time, it seemed like the only option for me, as I didn't have a family tradition to fall back on. There was also the issue of not quite understanding the whole concept of Stregheria at the time, which was the other major branch of paganism that I was steered toward, and I had gotten the impression that Druidism was only for men.
So, while I read everything I could get my hands on within the pagan spectrum, I focused my research on the Wiccan paths. This became increasingly easier as time went on. And by 1994, I had amassed quite a little library of books, as well as quite a bit of research.
After about twelve years of research, study, and contemplation, I finally decided to take that first official step onto the Wiccan path.
That June saw me renting a room in a house with a bunch of other college students. I'd recently vacated the apartment I'd shared with my first girlfriend and thought this house-sharing situation would be quite doable. I had privacy and began to make plans. There was a blue moon that month, and that seemed to be the perfect timing for me to finally do this. So, on the blue moon, which was also called the Strawberry Moon that year, I called a circle in my room and dedicated myself to the Wiccan path in the name of my primary goddess. I took my first craft name that night, as well.
It was a heady experience, particularly with the full moon's light shining down on me through the bedroom window. I don't remember any specific details of that night's ritual, but I remember feeling my goddess' approval, and that was all that mattered.
A few years later, I made my first attempt at self-initiation, thinking to work toward my degrees on my own. Oh, that was an amusing bit of folly to remember now. I had no idea what the degrees entailed, and had no one to really talk to or mentor me. I kept studying, learning everything I could, and practicing by myself or with the occasional partner.
In 2001, I moved out of the house I'd shared with Mama Bear, who had since joined a coven and was working on her own degrees. She gave me the steps I would need to complete to obtain my first degree, and I started working on them. And then, on Imbolc 2002, my chosen family gathered to celebrate as Mama Bear conferred my first degree upon me.
That night, I was also given the details of what I would need to receive my second degree. I still have that information, but haven't had said second degree conferred upon me formally yet. There are two reasons for that: 1] I still haven't officially completed one part of that training, and 2] Mama Bear is no longer in that tradition to confer the degree upon me.
I've done a lot of thinking about the whole degree system, and I'm of two minds about it. On the one hand, I like the idea of structured study and practice. On the other hand, I hate that it requires someone else to follow one's beliefs, which falls into the issues I have previously discussed with regard to covens.
But as I get older and move closer to my crone phase, I keep going back to the idea of continuing my studies toward my degrees. Or rather, back to the promises and vows I made eighteen years ago when I first dedicated myself to my new spiritual path. When I get confused or unsure of where to go next, I think back to that raw enthusiasm I had back then, and I get rejuvenated.
-- Sadie
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